..........breathe in this feeling

..........breathe in this feeling

Monday, December 28, 2015

28th Dec 2015......................... With B an Ms C

Dear Blog...............i've neglected you.
Simply because I have started the adventure of my life.............
Currently in Surfers Paradise.
Reported on facebook where I share.
Blog I promise I will fill you in properly soon about this journey

But for today, there are too many good friends, too musch good food, too much sunburn............. i simply start here

Tuesday, November 17, 2015


I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop
I saw the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make
A shy, bald, Buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
Who said lied I'd to h.i.m ?

..........and then Venus arose from the S.E.A. Welcome to the divinity of A.S.H

When you finally (or if you ever) make the move as a woman to break free, not give a damn what society thinks and run wild.........it's the most liberating experience. It also gives you a huge sense of respect for the other women around you doing the same.

Ash is a tattoo covered goddess who I have the up most respect for. She juggles being a Mother with running a work hustle that is second to none. If you get born in this world with a vagina, you're already at a disadvantage.......then society tries to pin women down even further by shaming them about their bodies and sexuality.......

fuck that............some of us refuse to conform to that bullshit............. Ash is one

Me: "So you're this inked up mega babe, what do you do for a job?"
Ash: I am a high class courtesan. I am also setting up my online business and agency.

Me: Do you find that people judge you because you are incredibly beautiful and not affraid to own your sexuality?
Ash:No not really, sometimes on social media but I find it more funny and I like to stir the pot when that happens. I love people though and I believe that you treat everyone with the same respect as you never know a person's story. So I try never to be nasty, everyone deserves respect and love... to a point. Sexuality is the one thing that we own, the one thing that we can either express or keep to ourselves.

Me: I admire that and part of what i enjoy about you is that you are so open.....its the people who repress their true selves and hide behind closed doors who are the most unhealthy. So how long ago did the tattoo's start and are there plans for more?

Ash:Its so unhealthy! I started getting tattooed when I was 16. My mum took me to get my first, my tramp stamp on the grounds that I didn't get any more. The artist remembered me and tattooed me without mums permission for the next few. Mum wasn't happy, but my family have always let me be me. I wanted to be fully covered from about the age of 13 so now I plan to be mostly covered. I am not keen on back tattoos and I won't be able to see a back tattoo anyway. So everything but back. I'd love to get something you have done on myself. I love your art.

Me:Oh thats rad!! i'd love to do something freehand on you. the only reason i have a tattoo is because someone was teaching me how to use a gun. Now, i could ask you about feminism, business hustle, travel etc but we all know the main question people want to know is are you single and how does a guy get your attention

Ash:Well we are gonna have to make that happen! I have a partner and he is the sweetest. It's kinda new. He was very persistent and as much as I pushed him away, he never left. He is an old school romantic. He brings me flowers, which he picked and thinks it is weird that I say I don't want flowers from someones garden, but it is very sweet. He opens doors for me and will spend his last dollar to make me happy. Very chivalrous. But I really don't have a type. Although I very much am a 'relationship type' of girl and have had 3 long term ones of 7y, 5y and 5y. I think that having these long term relationships is what gave me the opportunity to grow in my Sexuality and explore me. My best friend is one of my ex boyfriend's and I love him to death. I love my potential partners to have ambition and great morals, beautiful caring souls. Our looks are going to fade so it is important to have substance as a person, and that is what gets my attention.

Me: That's beautiful but cue the sound of male hearts breaking everywhere. its interesting, there is you and one other fierce strong woman i follow on social media.........whilst you were replying she's posted about getting dumped and being heartbroken. meanwhile i'm finally calm and can work because i have a new partner......................in some ways i think its so hard to be an alpha female that we require some kind of back up in order to keep grinding

but anyway

last question

where are you currently. can people see you anywhere. any links to places crew can follow you

Ash: So true. Having someone brings my feet back on the ground. Otherwise id be a billion times more crazy haha. I have an instagram @ashfahy My Facebook page Ash Fahy And my twitter which is my work page baileybrookesxx I will have my website up soon

Haha thanks so much hun! First interview I have ever had smile emoticon

Ash, you've been a total babe. Here's to alpha ladies rockin it and getting paid xx

Monday, November 16, 2015

les amateurs de fin de nuit aiment pas comme les autres

I'm really proud of the woman i've become and the survivor I am.
And these days I say whatever the fuck I like without giving a damn.
I met an electric creature..........
He lights up my life and is my main feature.
We don't conform to monogamy nor are we poly.
We're just two kids who hang out and like to kiss softly.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

La creación más bella es simplemente ser su verdadero yo . Sé fabuloso. Tratar todos los días como su su pasado y apuntalar todas las calles como una pista de aterrizaje


So old mate got some new raps............... even high as fuck and drunk, he's still hilarious! Yo Perth boo thang. Love You as always xx


Friday, November 13, 2015

Ladies Luncheon - Meet Samirah

Ok so this is a tad embarrassing but hey, I seem to specialize in that department

My first experience of Transgender was not what you'd expect..........I left a gay club one night with a guy. We got to his. I got naked and he reeled in shock when he saw I didn't have a dick.......he thought I was Trans. Ironically we both ended up laughing about it, we have remained friends and he's now in a relationship with a gay male friend of mine.

Following that I was working at an Art gallery where I met a stunning brown Trans woman called Katherine. She had been in the original Les Girls with Carlotta. I'd go to her house and there were photos of her and Jean Paul Gaultier everywhere. She had 2 bedrooms just for her clothes and loved giving me all the clothes that she didn't fit or got bored with. I think I own about 20 pairs of shoes she has given me. She traveled the world having affairs with millionaires and celebrities...........she was my glamorous introduction to Transgender Women.

Thanks to an internet connection and a facebook account, I've stumbled across another beautiful Trans woman called Samirah. Ever since Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner very publicly transitioned, i've been curious as to how this has changed things for the community. What I admire in Samirah is, not only has she come out as a woman.......she's not doing it in a safe place, she's transgender in the middle east. I find that kind of courage so utterly inspiring

Me "where do you live and what do you do to pay the rent and afford fabulous clothes?"
Samirah:I live in the middle East in the gcc region. I wish not to mention the name of the country. I work as a çartoonist and marketing director for achieving my dreams. My dream to be me.

Me:How old were you when you realized you were actually a female trapped in a male body?"
Samirah:To what I remember and recall... I was 8 yrs old. It was my first move towards my identity. I sneaked into my sisters clothes and I felt its for me. I felt the joy the happiness when the fabric touched my skin. Although it might be considered an erotic fetish I feel its freedom and your insights giving you thrills of happiness

Me:Have you had any surgery, or do you plan to in the future?
Samirah:No, i haven't got any surgery done.. it is quite unfortunate till now. I always have been living under a shadow of fears, religious intolerance's and x factors towards transgender communities. I have been saving my funds for a better future. YES! i will be having my surgery as soon as I am able to.

Me:Has Bruce Jenner transitioning to Caitlyn made it an easier to be accepted socially as a trans woman?
Samirah:I dont think so and it is strictly my opinion. Its always a brave and a strong move for anyone especially having such a high status. Its not Bruce/Caitlyn , its about the other real brave transwomen who fight for dignity everyday even though they are never in the spotlight. I believe someday transwomen will have a better place, and its always going to tough. But if the going gets tough.. the tough gets going.

Me:You know I am so jealous of your beautiful hair
Samirah:hahahahaha.... its not your jealousy, its your beautiful admiring skills!... you admire the courage and translate it into your jealousy... You are like my mentor.. my inspiration. You are one of the few who will never have Jealously ever.. my mermaid!

Me:"Best thing about being a woman?
Samirah: everything...

Samirah..........shine on lady. You are divine x

Oh Haiiiii

2 things of note happened yesterday.
I had my septum pierced
and a gift package from MAC cosmetics arrived on my doorstep.
Hence enjoy the randomness of below image........

I've had an amazing relationship with MAC over the years. They have supported me continually. I've had the privilege of Djing for them at counters in Syd and Melbs. Every so often their Pr manager emails me to see where I am to grab an address and send me product. I love that they are passionate about supporting alternative beauty. They've saved me more then once getting a an artist to do my face last minute...........i think the hardest thing about leaving my ex husband was simply that the dead shit threw all my MAC in the garbage bin

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Hyclass. "I need you" mixtape

Over the past decade, i've had the privilege of having a friendship with a seriously talented woman who I call my wife and consider as a Sister. She and I have lived, Djed, toured together............we have a bond that can never been broken. Whilst I've been focusing on Art, she has been making music and come out with an A.M.A.Z.I.N.G hip hop release that I simply have no words to describe. I'm so proud of her and her star is so on the rise.......... I'm lucky enough to know this woman so I thought I'd ask her some questions so that you could get familiar too

Me: Why Rap? How and When Did you start?

Hyclass: Why rap? Because I couldnt sing like Mariah! Haha *half serious* lol no, but seriously.... I grew up listening to rap music, so it was familiar and I was naturally drawn to it. I loved the presence and energy that rappers had. the ability to tell a story through that kind of creative medium, it just excited me. I loved having an outlet to express myself without being limited, there are there are no boundaries to your creativity. and it started when I was 13 & I decided to write a poem in class because I was low key pissed off with my friend, she was always creeping on boys I had a crush on, so I thought OK bitch, let me get busy with this pen. HA! It was funny, from there I never stopped writing and I would just make them into little rap songs in my room.

Me: Musical Influences?

Hyclass: ah shit musical influences
It could go on forever, but Ill go with... Nas, Ghostface Killah, Chaka Khan, Mary J Blige, Aaliyah, Jay-Z, Mobb Deep, ATCQ, Lil Kim, DMX, De La Soul, Janet Jackson


Me:you're an Alpha bitch........what's your take on Aust hip hop and the guys in it

Whats my take on it? Well, I would never discredit the group of people who have built it and identify with it, because I know the ones I have interacted with that helped built its foundation are true artists, who deserve respect for what they do. And for those that follow on under that whole movement, if your proud and love being apart of then that's cool. Other than that I'm not really associated much with it, I just take people for who they are, and what they show me.

Real talk tho, Its changed a lot now. There are so many different groups of kids that are doing all kinds of shit. With the Electronic scene as well, its just changed up the Game. Kids wanna be artists.

Me: when are we hitting the strip club, finding some male groupies and wildin' out

Hyclass: I dont think we ever were looking for male groupies babe, they were following us around like flys to shit
And if im at a Strip club, i could give a fuck about a Dude like, im looking for fat asses and titties, like I will eat chicken wings and watch girls twerk on a poie quite happily, without male company. And im not even gay, but thats just the way that shit goes

this is why I love her........... and this is how i roll. We ain't for the soft at heart

Run the T.R.A.P

I share so much of my life on social media.......
I don't understand these women who take selfies and post all over the internet looking for attention.
I came up from nothing...... social media got me noticed and I was able to fund my time at fashion school through appearances and tour management.
Then because of that I got a dj career.
Then cause of that people knew who i was and wanted to buy my art........

My hustle online has always been financially focused....

but in saying that, I'm currently enjoying having this little space to let off some steam and talk about my life.......

I love my extreme, savage men........ but the sun is out, it's a beautiful day and deep down......... I'm just kinda in lust with an ink free man who has his shit together and enjoys life.

I guess part of me enjoys the confusion people experience witnessing the visual of my day to day vs what is actually going down.

My real crew know the deal...... that's all that matters.

I guess what I'm saying.......... don't waste time worrying what others think...... do you. Your real crew will have your back.....the rest can get fucked

You asked so here is the answer...........

Since I got back on social media and started blogging, i've got used to rather abstract messages............ but it never ceases to amaze me how many people ask what kind of guys i like. So for those who have asked....... these are the guys i consider the hottest creatures to roam this planet lol

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

sIMMER DOWN, pucker up

How cute is he!!!

This one purchased the original of my Mermaid Life piece.......... I'm a bit in love with how cute this photo he sent me is.......
¡es tan lindo! 

You got me lifted feelin' so g.i.f.t.e.d

He pasado los últimos días dejarme un día de fiesta ..... mucha sunbaking y sin el estrés de tener que hacer el maquillaje. Ha sido increíble xx ........... PERO facturas no paga a sí mismos , tienen que volver a mi vida Arte trabajar ajetreo

Monday, October 26, 2015

I woke up like this...

So the affair with Armand Van Helden.........
this nigga I just called and said "yo I'ma put you on blast on my blog" ......he laughed and asked how big my ass was these days. I told him to fuck off and it derailed into our usual phone convo style........ I love this man as a fellow creative. He is naughty, he's abstract but he also has an amazing heart and we are crew for life xx

If you ain't on board, you playin with team D

I guess i need to explain in some form my sexuality and love life at some stage......... actually fuck it. draw your own conclusions.
I operate in a form that works for me...... you go do you

Saturday, October 24, 2015

My Everything........

.......................... i can't lie. landing this man..... batting well out of my physical league.

....and the Hair Game continues.....

Yo, like MJ doctor, they killing me
Propofol, I know they hope I fall
But tell 'em winning is my motherfuckin' protocol
'Cause I score before I ever throw the ball

Sunday, October 18, 2015


Dizzee Rascal........

The time I went on tour with Dizzee and witnessed 3 guys on Collins street try to attack him in Melbs. The entourage kicked in and I suddenly realized why black rappers take entourages to racist countries.....

Slut Shaming

Amber Rose has recently opened up the convo about "slut shaming"
Which is basically, abusing women who choose to own their bodies, their sexuality and god forbid, if a female wants to wear a short dress or sleep with someone on a first date, she's instantly an utter whore.

I got slut shamed.
Ironically by a male I have never met.
And had no interest in ever meeting.
He also went on to run his mouth and abuse my best friend.
In fact his fascination with us edged on the bizare.

I don't particularly want to give him screen time but its an important story for women about the slut shame phenomenon and the lengths basic people will resort to.

So Mphazes .......aust hip hop producer. bipolar mental with a fetish for brown women
Here it is.

Took me a few years to get strong and become the woman i am
but shit.......i'm here now in full effect

Why the hell did i tolerate years of you slamming my name?
You then suddenly become best mates with the ugly fat version of me and both ride my name on twitter?

Ladies.......... you know a guy 1. has a mental health problem. 2. has a small dick and 3. is obsessed with you when it gets to this level

Basically....... moral of the story. Don't accept being slut shamed and don't allow your mind space to tolerate the bullshit of someone who probably is just so in lust with you, doesn't know how to step x

The Beginning......

I wrote a long post on my facebook public art page thismorning about being an intelligent bitch owning her sexuality vs a dumb girl at home taking selfies in a push up bra.
But then it kinda hit me.

As women we fear being judged as whores or basically anything that doesn't make "baby mother" material.
But why?
Because we are scared we won't secure a man to be in our lives and then procreate with to then bear children who we assume will then care for us in our old age

It's all just basic survival.
What if you actually banked on yourself so much as a woman you didn't give a fuck?

I kicked off at 19 doing artist management. 20's became a Dj and at 31 i'm a Visual Artist
I've lived so many years operating in male orientated fields.

And its struck me...........

The stories I have about men on the music scene in this country.
Shit...........they can go on tour, fuck a gang of bitches, act like idiots
yo that's apparently all cool.

But you put an alpha female kinda in the public eye who is ethical and responsible in her sexual habits and suddenly thats a slut?

Certain Aust hip hop kids have been polite to date cause they know the material i have on them.
But I just woke up and realized......... i've been slut shamed so hard for them running their mouths, so i ain't got shit to lose.

So this is the call out......

I'ma start sharing s.h.i.t........

kick off................... the local guys are utter basics so lets give them a min to freak the fuck out and ponder how they bout to explain "that time" they cheated on their wives/girlfriends or attempted to.


We had a long stretch over 2 years. He'd come to Perth, I'd take him to dinner with my gay best mate. I knew artist he flossed with back in the states. He'd tell me to stop swearing. I'd tell him to use cutlery like a human instead of grasping it with his fist and looking like a dick in restaurants. We ended because he was left holding my glomesh purse at a budget nightclub in Perth and I preferred dancing with a white geek kid.

Friday, October 16, 2015


I've been unwell for the past few days.
I look utter shit.
I went to the shops, no makeup, trackpants and beanie.
Get out the car to hear "Hi Kate Jean"
I have an utter fetish for grey hair and muscles on a tall guy....
This was grey hair, muscles and a tall guy.........
He started talking about liking my Art.......
I was overwhelmed with how crap I was looking whilst visually undressing him.......

I really need to stop leaving the house without makeup

Thursday, October 15, 2015

...... n'a jamais aimé personne comme je l'aime

Occasionally you are fortunate to meet your other half.
I met mine and he's equally as insane.
Sure, we aint a couple........that would be way too much trouble.
But i love you, I feel you and you get me too.
So this is mad love to my brother from another mother
ehy yo, we on some psychic shit.
Had me crying these happy tears all day.......can kinda blame the hormones but also this situation, insane.
i love you x........................and sometimes yeah i do wish one of us was stable enough to make the other their boo.